As a clinical psychologist and mother, I often find myself sifting through parenting resources trying to identify helpful materials.
“Feeding the Mouth That Bites You: A Complete Guide to Parenting Adolescents and Launching Them Into the World” is a book by Kenneth Wilgus, a licensed psychologist who specializes in the treatment of adolescents and their families. The book provides insights and practical advice for parents navigating the often turbulent years of adolescence.
Wilgus introduces the concept of “Planned Emancipation,” where he encourages parents to intentionally guide their teens towards adulthood by gradually giving them more freedom and responsibility. This approach is about recognizing the adolescent’s growing need for autonomy and helping them to develop into independent adults.
The title, “Feeding the Mouth That Bites You,” reflects the paradox that many parents experience: the very child they have nurtured and cared for often seems to turn against them during adolescence. Wilgus explains that this is a natural part of the teen’s journey to self-sufficiency and that parents should not take it personally or try to suppress it.
Instead, the book suggests that parents should:
– Identify areas of a teenager’s life where they can make decisions independently.
– Give teens room to make mistakes and learn from them.
– Communicate clear expectations and consequences.
– Pick battles wisely and not to sweat the small stuff.
– Support their teen’s exploration of identity.
Wilgus also addresses common issues such as conflict resolution, setting appropriate boundaries, dealing with technology use, and managing the transition out of high school.
Overall, “Feeding the Mouth That Bites You” offers a compassionate and realistic approach to raising adolescents, emphasizing respect for their growing need for independence while maintaining parental authority and preparing teens for the responsibilities of adult life.
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